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Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Before the Boogeyman Goes to Sleep He Checks His Closet for Chuck Norris

     Our time in Utah continued on Wednesday with another afternoon Utah Crit Series race. I had some outside work to do today before going to the crit. We got the grass and bushes trimmed on Monday, but Gma's landscaping in front of the house needed some TLC. She had forgotten that Shannon and I replaced the weed barrier and wood chips just a year and half ago, so she told someone it needed replacing. They scooped out one big section of wood chips and tore up the weed barrier, then just left it. So she had a big bare spot of landscaping right next to the front door that nobody had touched in months.

     I offered to take care of finishing the job while I was here. The wood chips were still good other than a little color loss and a lot of grass that had been blown into them during mowing. I took about half of the chips out and was able to mix the remaining half in with new chips so we did not need near as many bags to fill up the bed. The chips that we did remove were then used to mulch around her trees in the front and around flowers in the back. We made use of everything we pulled out. The weed barrier that had not been removed was still good so I tacked it back down and put down some new barrier over areas where it was removed. Dina and I also went shopping for some new plants. We added some color between her main bushes with a variety of lilies and succulents, all plants that need no maintenance so Gma won't have to worry about watering them. We even managed to do all this without her knowing. She was pretty surprised when she came out and saw all the new flowers and shrubs! Of course she wanted to pay for all the materials, but it was a lot more than I know she can afford. I talked her into settling on taking us out for dinner later in the week. It was more money than I intended to spend on the trip, but I just considered it my rent for the week. The smile on her face made all the money and work worth while.

Before we got started on the landscaping


Weed barrier down and bushes trimmed

A little yellow for this edge of the house

Lots of new things by her old fence


We even added some plants to the side of the house between her deck and garage

     I was a little tired after digging and crawling around all day. Between that and the way I blew up so easily at RMR last night, I wasn't expecting much from tonight's crit. Wednesday night action is on the DLD course, which is a testing facility behind the Driver's License Division building in West Valley City. They have a whole course on the property just for driver's testing. There's a series of paved blocks with stop signs, curves, lights, yields and one-way streets. There's also a hill in and out of the facility which makes for some excitement in the race. The DLD lets us use their facility, but only after they close. There is no warm-up at all on the course. Nobody can even take a lap until the race starts. As you might imagine, the first lap of each race is neutral so we can see which of the 16 possible configurations the promoter has laid out for us. I didn't have a trainer to warm up on so all I could do was spin around the parking lot for 10 minutes until time to line up. We were the first race so I had no chance at all to even see the course. It was very worrying since I don't do well in crits without warm-up, but nobody else would have one either so at least we were all even tonight.

     The course was very fun and also difficult. I talked with the main official before the race and he told me the climb always takes its toll on out-of-town riders because of the elevation. It's not the biggest hill, but it has some steepness and length to it considering how many times you have to go up it in a single race. The loop began at the top of the hill with a small square around the parking lot of the facility. You then descended the hill to the training course where we had wide roads and good pavement. We took a 90-degree right at the bottom of the hill, followed quickly by a 90-degree left into a headwind. The wind was vicious on the backside of the course where we did three more 90-degree lefts and a right before hitting a straightaway that put you back onto the climb to the finish. Again, it was about a mile in length, but much more technical than last night's RMR course.

Course map from my Garmin for the DLD course


     We had less riders tonight with just 12 of us on the start line for the Pro/1/2/3. After our neutral lap, one rider went off on the climb the next lap. The chase was not as crazy as last night, so I was able to hang in. The hill would peg my HR at 185 just like last night, but then I was able to recover on the descent and hide in the draft on the windy sections of the course. Our group slowly split up into three groups by the 15-minute mark of our 40-minute race. I found myself at the back of group three. I wanted to attack and bridge to group two, but every little move made my heart rate spike and I knew I would likely blow up. So I just sat on the back and followed everything as riders attempted to bridge for themselves.

Two riders going off early in the Pro/1/2/3 race

The rest of the Pro/1/2/3 group

Two leaders out front


Me hanging on the back


     After about 10 minutes of there being three groups on course, the front group was caught by the second group and then they slowed down. One rider attacked and went off the front solo, but everyone else seemed tired. My group eventually caught back up and made it a front group of ten chasing one. We lost a few riders in the closing laps as the pace picked up again on the hill, but we were unable to catch the leader. He would take it solo all the way to the finish. I got dropped on the climb at two laps to go, but chased hard all the way around and was able to get back onto the group up the climb as we took the bell for the final lap. I had no sprint left after that chase and just hung onto the back of the group to finish 8th. I hit 191 bpm on my heart rate that last lap, way higher than anything I have seen in the last year. The legs were good, it was the heart and lungs that were holding me back again, but not as much as the previous day. My body is starting to adjust to this elevation thing!

These two were the first group when things split up.

Group 2

Group 3

Working hard here up on the front of the saddle

Solo leader now

Chasers starting the climb

Me still hanging out at the back

Coming into the parking lot at the top of the climb



Leader

Me falling off the back at 2 to go, but I fought my way back on the next time up the hill

Cat. 4/5 group ready to start


     It was a fun night of racing on a fun course. Thanks again to Dina for the pictures and some video. She and Amber cheered me on the whole race. It was cool to have Amber there as she doesn't get to see me race very often. We all had some support on the backside of the course from some kids that had come from the neighborhood next door to cheer us on through the fence.

     The official I talked to before the race came over and congratulated me on how well I did on the climb. He was pretty impressed that I was able to hang on for 22 trips up the hill and he gave me a pep talk about how awesome I was going to ride when I got back home to near sea-level. Everyone there was very nice and I hope to be able to support this series again in the future. If you are ever in the area, stop by and do a race. They don't believe in pulling riders so even if you blow up you will get to race the full race. They don't pull because riders don't get better by sitting on the side watching. They really do everything they can to help the riders. It is all about the riders and nothing else, which is how it should be.


Video: Utah Crit Series at the DLD


    Tammy Richardson had messaged me on Facebook to tell me Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the Salt Lake area this week promoting a new bottled water called CFORCE. Turns out he was not that far from where the crit. was so we headed over to the Maverik store in Centerville where he was supposed to be doing pictures. Of course, the line was crazy, but they had a good system down that made things go quickly. We only got a few seconds with Chuck, but he was a super nice guy. Even after a long day of taking photos he genuinely seemed to be enjoying it. He could've just posed for the picture and pushed us off to make room for the next people, but he actually shook our hands and talked to us for a minute. I remember watching a lot of "Walker, Texas Ranger" when I was a kid. It really was a good show, with much more substance to it than most of the crap that is on television these days. It was cool to meet Chuck as I feel like he is a guy that hasn't let the fame go to his head. He still spends countless hours doing martial arts and teaching kids martial arts which is pretty awesome. He truly loves his sport and does all he can to make sure the next generation has a chance to love it too. Dude is 77 years old! You wouldn't know it by how he looks and acts.

The line to see Chuck was long

They were also giving away a big, jacked-up truck called Truck Norris


     If you have been a reader of my writings since I started blogging back in 2005, then you might remember Chuck Norris coming up a few times. I wrote a guest blog for the popular NashvilleCyclist.com in 2006 where I wrote about a trip to the SERC opener in Florida with Kenny Marshall, Rick Harmon and Daniel Matheny among others. We had a whole van-load of people in Kenny's old green van, which we called the Green Goblin. On the drive down, Daniel and I found some papers in the back of one of the seats and they were a list of about 1,000 Chuck Norris jokes, right about the time those jokes were becoming popular. We laughed at those things for weeks. That part of the blog stuck with me for a long time. Other riders called me "Chuck Norris" and "Roundhouse" for about three years after that. Actually, I still hear it brought up in Nashville every now and then. I thought it was kind of fitting that I did end up getting to meet Chuck. There's a lot of new Chuck Norris jokes out there (now called Facts) so Amber, Dina and I spent the rest of this trip reading and exchanging them with each other. One of my favorites is this: "A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there." I also like: "There once was a street called Chuck Norris, but the name was changed for public safety because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives."



     Now I just need to meet Jason Bourne.

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