There was some weird draw to this race. I felt like a moth getting sucked in towards a light. Maybe it's the irony involved. No other race pairs up top-shape athletes with artery-clogging, calorie-packed junk food. It seems so wrong, but tasted so right!
My plan was to lay out a lap at max speed and consume 5-6 donuts. I had no idea how the donuts would make me feel on the bike. Donuts really aren't my thing. The start of the race was slow as we were almost instantly into traffic. The women started first and that made the technical first section of singletrack a traffic jam. Tim Baker took the hole-shot and got away as we worked through traffic. Adam was leading the main pack for our Jelly Donut class (Men Under 165 lbs). Mean Joe is about the coolest, calmest guy when it comes to racing. He talked to the women as we caught them and it got us all by safely and without making them hate racing with men.
Once we got in the clear, it was balls to the walls the rest of the race. My strategy was to take 2 donuts at the first stop which came about 3 miles into the 9.75 mile race. I had just passed Adam to move into second when we arrived at the first donut table. I was breathing like an asthmatic horse which makes chewing large amounts of food very difficult and choking very easy. I put 2 donuts down and realized I had time for a third. I stuffed it in and was off in pursuit of Keith, who was just ahead of me racing in the Singlespeed group. I was excited about my 3 donuts until Keith told me he shoved down 5!
The donuts had no effect on my riding. Actually, they may have helped me. I was ROLLING through the turns and putting time between me and the chasers behind. I landed at the second donut stand with only Tim ahead. And I knew Tim wasn't stoppping for donuts. The original plan was for 3 donuts at stop #2, but I knew I could do more. I put down 3 fairly quickly to up my total to 6. Then Adam, pulled up. I ripped down another with ease, then went for one last piece of sugary delight. The last few bites of the eighth donut made me gag a little. Donuts were starting to not taste so good...
Adam and I stuffing down the calories.
The most digusting picture I have ever seen of myself. Yet also the funniest!
Adam has the food sweats!
Keith is starting to look like maybe he got a bit too excited about having an excuse to eat that many calories.
I left the second stop on the gas, not worried at all about anyone behind me. Little did I know that Adam had a plan. He was playing a strategy that I hadn't thought of. You got a green dot sticker added to your number plate every time you ate a donut. Adam did a quick count of my stickers as I left. Knowing I was beating him on course, he threw down 2 extra donuts (giving him 10 total) and then set off, hoping to come in within 4 minutes of my time. I rolled through with a huge smile on my face because it was just so damn fun to combine riding and food! Adam's strategy worked. He came in 3:31 behind me, giving him the win by 29 seconds when the donut time was subtracted. I couldn't care less about the finish positions. I'm just glad I got to race one of my best friends and come out that close to each other. We had a pretty good gap over everyone else in the race. Keith layed the smack down too, winning the Singlespeed race handily after putting away 13 donuts. Keith is now known simply as 13 after consuming the baker's dozen.
Me wishing it wasn't over yet
I talked Kaylee into racing and she had a good time too. She only ate one donut. I gave her a hard time about it until she said that she ate that one donut twice after it tried to come back up on one of the climbs! She ended up taking a top 5 and didn't have a stomach ache while waiting for the awards like most people did.
Kaylee just after the start
Adam rubs his donut holder as John and I join him on the Jelly Donut podium
Two peeps sat on the side of the trail and had an eat-off to see who would be the donut-eating champ. One guy ate 33 donuts (add that up and you get about 8250 calories!), but he would throw them back up before finishing the loop so it doesn't count in my book. I think Scott McConnell should be the champ. He ate 15 and held them down. You da man Scott!
I can't wait for next year! Thankyou Mathew Portel and the group at Ride for Reading. You guys did a great job with the event. Krispy Kreme donated a TON of donuts for this event. It's great to see a company helping out an event for charity. I know where I'll buy my donuts from now on. Thanks Keith & Misty, and also Ride for Reading, for the pics I used here. I still laugh for 30 minutes every time I look at them!
man i saw the results for that event. crazy amounts of krispie cremes eatin! told my self i was going this year and yet again i let it slip by.
ReplyDelete