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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Lots of Dirt and a Gut Full of Donuts!

     Last year's Dirt, Guts & Donuts was one of the most fun races I have ever had the privilege to do. I mean, what could be better than racing mountain bikes and eating?!! Not to mention that it's all for charity. I am not a huge fan of donuts, but I'm not against eating them either. They're good, just during the season they aren't good enough to justify the calories they carry. Adam Queen nipped me for the win last year. I was much more determined this year. I wanted to eat more and ride faster. Adam wasn't coming this time, so I felt more pressure ot win the overall and keep the title in the family.

     The whole day was about keeping it in the family. I was doing the double that morning. Volunteer State Community College's PTA class was again hosting a 5K run. That's where I graduated from. My class was the one that started the 5K and it has been continued ever since. I won the race last year as alumni, so I felt the need to go back and defend the title. None of my former classmates were running, so it was up to me to keep the title in the PTA alumni family. This year's event was to benefit the Fisher House, a foundation at Fort Campbell, KY that provides housing to families of soldiers who are hospitalized, so that the family can stay close to the hospital for free.

     The 5K was at 8am Saturday morning. DGD didn't start until 9:30, so theoretically there was enough time to do both since Vol State is located just a few miles from Lock 4. The PTA program director was quick to let me know that they were giving a medal this year to the fastest overall runner. She said she expected the medal to go to alumni and then pointed out that I was the only one there. Great. No pressure or anything.

     Last year's 5K at Vol State was my first ever 5K, and still stands as my fastest one ever. I finished in 21:21 last year. There were more runners this year, and also more quality runners. I knew I would have to step it up this time. I still haven't been running much, but I knew I could rival last year's time if I pushed hard. My goal is to get my 5K time under 20 minutes by the end of the year. This seemed like a good course to start progressing toward that goal.

     The course is two laps of an out-and-back road that cuts across campus. It has one short rise just after the start, followed by a long gentle descent. Then comes a small climb before the turnaround. On the way back, there is just one climb. It isn't steep, but it is fairly long compared to the rest of the hills on the course.

5K course map


     The start was fast. I started on the front row and drifted back to 10th or so after the first climb. People began to fade by the 1/2 mile mark and I moved up to 7th. One guy was already way out front, but the others were only 5 seconds ahead of me. I ran the first mile in 6:05, but was still off the back of the lead group. The long climb turned out to be good for me and I made up a lot of ground, moving to 5th by the end of the first lap. The leader had faded and was now only 10 sec up on me. What seemed like a battle to get into the top 5 now looked like a possible win.

The start with a motorcycle lead out

The eventual race winner had a huge lead on the first lap. Nobody in sight.

Lots of military out for the run to support the Fisher House


The lead isn't so big now. This is early in lap 2.


     I got into a good rhythm that second lap and just focused on the leader. I was running so hard to catch him, but it felt good. I had the push and drive of the entire PTA program behind me! I moved to 2nd with a mile to go. The leader was just a few seconds ahead of me. I was content with that gap for the moment, knowing that I was strong up the long hill coming back.

Me in full chase mode. Up to 2nd!


     I tried to recover as we reached the turnaround. Then it was like the wind went out of my sails. I lost my rhythm and he started to creep away. Third place was staying close, so I quickly turned to defending my spot. The leader really pulled off up that last climb and easily took the win. I was not as fast up the climb as I had hoped. Third place caught me and went around, gapping me before we hit the finish straight. I put in a good sprint effort to get him before the line, but he was strong and held me off. I was disappointed with 3rd until I looked at my time. It was 20:32, a new personal best! I felt like I faded so bad at the end, but my second lap time was only 3 seconds slower than me first, so I faded minimally. I couldn't keep the title in the PTA family, but I gave it a good shot and I think that's all that mattered to everyone there.

Me trying to hold onto 3rd up the final hill


     The 5K started a little late, so it became a rush to get over to Lock 4 for DGD. I got there, changed from sweaty running gear into clean riding gear, and got registered with just a few minutes to spare. They were out of twist ties so I had to put on my Krispy Kreme number plate with shoe laces that they were handing out with your registration. Then I saw Keith. He was handing out medals to the kids as they finished their race. He hadn't changed yet, so I took over medal duties and he ran to his truck to get ready. It was a cool job. Those kids had so much fun and were delighted to get a medal. For a few of them, DGD was their first ever mountain bike ride. I was pumped to hear more than one ask their parents if they could go ride more after the race.

     I got in a 5 minute spin before the race began. I was now very glad that I had run the 5K. It served as my warm-up for the day, and had me hungry. I decided not to eat between races, hoping that maybe the hunger would help me engulf a few more donuts during the race. My goals was 10 this year. I took down 8 last year and that wasn't enough to win the overall. Time to step it up!

    So the way DGD works is you race one 9-mile lap around Lock 4. There are two donut stops along the way. For each donut you eat during the race, you receive a 2-minute time deduction off your final lap time. It's a short race, which makes it intense, and makes keeping down a boatload of donuts that much harder. There are two titles on the line: fastest overall rider and donut eating champ. The donut eating champ isn't concerned with time, just eating the most donuts. The rule I don't like is that you don't have to keep the donuts down. That sucks. Some little bulemic cheerleader will come in one day and eat every donut they bring as long as she's allowed to puke. Real men don't puke! The classes are divided up by body weight instead of ability and age. Each class is named by a donut as well, like my class is the Jelly Donuts, for men under 165 lbs.

DGD course map at Lock 4


     The Singlespeed group started first, then came my group. The start was different this year. We started in the field by the silo parking lot instead of on the peninsula. It was a short sprint in the grass to get to the woods. I got the hole shot and led the group into the woods. I was little shakey in the first few turns. Again, I could tell I haven't been mountain biking a lot lately. Still, I began to pull away from the others in the group. Then, 2 minutes into the race, I clipped a log on the side of the trail and cartwheeled several feet. I guess I hung my pedal. It happened so fast, I'm not sure exactly what happened. I was just suddenly catapulted into the air over my bars. I busted left elbow and bruised my left glute, but was otherwise ok. Six riders passed by as I was remounting and picking up my water bottle out of the bushes. It felt like Chuck Norris roundhoused my butt cheek, but I was able to grit through it. The glute loosened up quickly and I picked my way through the group back into the top 5. I then made the junction to the leading group of four, who were still together.

Lots of donuts waiting to be eaten


Video: Keith leads the Singlespeed class into the woods


Got the hole shot for the Jelly Donut class start! Photo by Dahron Johnson


Video: Me leading my class on the start


    Just over a mile into the race was the first donut stop. I slid in and started stuffing them down. The plan was to do 5 at each stop. I was tearing them up, chewing fast and slamming them down. I got to 5 and felt good, so I went ahead and grabbed one more, leaving the first stop with 6 glazed donuts in my belly. It took me just 3 minutes to eat 6, so I gained a lot of time by eating.

    So here's the part you are looking at this post for. It's the pictures. And yes, we all look just as disgusting as last year! It's hilarious!

Brian Gant can talk and chew

Keith chomping down on some Krispie Kreme

Scott went for the grab n' smash method

Keith looks like the glaze is starting to get to him


Video: Footage at the first donut stop 


Can't tell if I'm cramming the donut in or licking the glaze off my gloves.


A creepy kind of happy

Mmmm! 250 calories a pop

I look like a gremlin on a sugar high


The first donut stop was a busy place

Don't puke!

Getting a little excited as I chomp on donut #6.


Give me another donut! And a sticker!


     I was in traffic after the first stop. Some of the riders ahead were from Singlespeed, others were in my class, but had eaten less. I felt great. The legs were there, the donuts weren't effecting me, and the crash had not taken away from my speed. Normally, a hard crash will make me slow down, but today it just made me more focused and I think I actually went faster through the corners.

    I railed the turns and rode a really good lap. I was so determined to keep this race in the family since I failed at the 5K. I was NOT going to lose this one. After the crash, you couldn't tell that I have been slacking on my mountain bike riding. I was having so much fun carving through the woods. Lock 4 is a blast when you have the legs to get up some speed and let it all hang out in the turns. The second donut stop came with 2 miles to go. I just needed to eat 4 to reach my goal, but eating 6 got me thinking that maybe I could eat 6 more. So I did. I was starting to feel really full, but not feeling sick, so I grabbed one last donut to make it a baker's dozen.

Two of the females enjoying donuts at the second stop

Garrett Dunnam sits down to have an entire box


     I was stuffed and starting to feel sick in the final sections, but I kept the hammer down...and kept the donuts down. I crossed the line in 46:14. My final time ended up being 20:14 after the 26 minutes in time deductions I got from eating 13 donuts. That was more than enough to get me the win. I actually won the overall by over 10 minutes. It takes a good combo of a fast lap time and eating a good number of donuts to win, and that's exactly what I did. So the title stays in the family...

Me and Keith together with about 2 miles to go

Paul Wallace

A few turns to go before the finish

Jon Harrison sprint sup behind another rider

Keith's wife, Misty Schaper

My number plate with 13 green dots on it. You got a sticker every time you ate a donut.

When you're a messy slob, you get your food everywhere. My grips and shifters were covered with glaze by the end of the race.


     Here's something to think about: each donut packs 250 calories. I ate 13, which gave me a staggering 3250 calories taken in during a 46 minute race. The donut eating champ this year, Garrett Dunnam, ate 26! That's 6500 calories! And he kept them down. Nice job Garrett, you may now be a diabetic.

     Congrats to all the racers. I know we all had fun and none of us went into a sugar coma, so that was good. We got lots of cool schwag and raised a lot of money for Ride For Reading. Thanks go out to my sister, Dina, for taking the pics. They're awesome! I'd call this double day a good Saturday morning.

    Next weekend starts cyclocross, where you are sure to feel like you will puke without having a gut full of donuts.

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